Tears, grief, the heart and three goats
Family life.
Cancer changes everything. It’s nothing new, lots of people have been touched by it. I hate it. I try to appreciate it, in the ways in which tragedy can bring people together, but generally, hate sums it up. Will it stay that way, not sure, but right now it’s okay for me to hate it. It’s okay for me to hate the fallout and be angry. What I hate the most is how it impacts my kids and will continue to do so their whole life. I can’t fix it, I can just be there with them.
Some days are better than other for coping. Some things hault you in your tracks, a song, a picture, a comment. My youngest saying she misses her Daddy’s hugs and would like one now gets me every time. The goal is to keep going and to keep the kids being kids as much as they can.
I’m grateful my daughter can go to summer camp for kids whose lives have been toughed by a family member with cancer. There are so many kids at camp and that breaks my heart. I am happy they have so much love and support, but there are so many. Watching another family go through something similar was surprisingly emotional to the point I left work to go throw myself into farm work. Farm work turned out to be watching tv and surfing Facebook.
We’d been talking about adopting farm animals, beyond the seven surviving chickens, next year. But, I saw someone wanting to re-home 3 goats, plenty of people were interested so I thought odds were nonexistent, but Josh suggested I message anyways (he claims otherwise). I only said I’d be happy to give all three a home.
Tuesday morning I had a message about goats. After work we packed the crates in my truck, picked up the youngest from daycare and headed 1.5 hours north. I don’t think my daughter understood we were going to pick up living goats as she was very surprised when we first met them. We did go through a drive-thru on the way home and you bet those goats made lots of noise. I am not sure what I’ve gotten myself and the family into, but now three goats live in the backyard.
